Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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