these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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