Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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