he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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