Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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