i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize