Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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