Me. At least after what I've been through.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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