Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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