How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
