whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
