when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
