im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize