I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
