it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
