Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
