i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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