Buhtt sex?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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