why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
