Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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