They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
