that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
