Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
