aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
