yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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