So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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