Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
