im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
