getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
