i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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