I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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