i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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