I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
