So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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