i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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