i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
