just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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