Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
