For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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