She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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