I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
