Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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