He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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