do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
