We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
