Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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