If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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