found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
whose parrot is this?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
