i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He better not be in your backpack
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
