the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
