Soap is not a condiment
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
