I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
