How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
