I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She told me I should be a condom model.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
