So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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