The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
