I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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