My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
