Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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